content top

* secrets *

* secrets *

Read SECRETS below, then submit your own.

My partner will not touch me, kiss me or hug me unless he wants sex. he wont even sit next to me to watch a movie. our sey is fantastic but when he is done he cleans himself up, covers up and turns his back on me, im not allowed to touch him as he pushes me away and says he will sleep on the couch if i touch him again. he wakes me in the middle of the night for more sex but i am never able to get sex from him when i want it. what is this ? think i need to end this relationship cuz when i try to tell him how i feel, he tells me to shut up that he dont care. i need to feel respected and loved.

I love my husband, but not the way I think I’m supposed to. I feel like he is my best friend and my family. I don’t have that passion for him that a wife should have for her husband, and with him on antidepressants it is causing him to have “sexual problems” and makes me feel like he is feeling the same way about me. I want to get back those feelings, but I don’t know how, and he is in counseling for his depression and porn addiction. IDK if the lying about things over the years is why I feel this way, but I just feel like our relationship is missing something. I told him that and he says “it’s better to live with your best friend, than all alone”…but what if I’m keeping him from being with someone who would love him the way he is supposed to be loved???

My husband only hugs and kisses me when he wants sex. He wont touch me for day then in a single kiss i’m expected to jump his bones! Hes so selfish inside and outside the bedroom!

I still fantasize about sex with an ex-boyfriend. It was so much more satisfying than sex with my husband. I don’t think my husband of ten years will ever fulfill me in the same way my ex did.

My boyfriend’s sexual desires are so much tamer than mine. I love him, but I wonder if I’ll always feel slightly unaccepted and unfulfilled.

It really bothers me that, no matter what, my boyfriend cannot get off during sex. Ever. Not even if I give him a blow job. :(

He says it’s “not me”.

If there is any truth to the saying “In vino veritus,” then I am in trouble. After I’ve had a couple of drinks I dislike my husband immensely. Much more than I sometimes dislike him when sober.

[Also, an aside: It feels disingenuine to submit secrets about "boyfriends" here. Sorry, it's just not the same as being married. Having done both, it's just not.]

Everyone thinks that I have it all together. My husband’s health has been very precarious for several years and I’ve taken care of him. I’ve also worked full-time and had to take on the responsibilities of running the household. I took over things that I had no idea how to do and did not want to have to learn. I say I have a lot of faith and that is what gets me through.

I do (have faith), but I also waiver between terrible depression over things that I cannot control and how my life is nothing like I would like. I hate my job but I have no choice. The only way I’ll be able to leave it is if I get fired, retire (which is over 10 years away), or die. I am mostly overwhelmed with all that is on my plate and no way to change it.

It’s hard to pretend that I’m fine when I’m really not. It’s hard to pretend that I don’t mind the things that I have to do, but I really do. It’s hard to be who I am.

I think about breaking up with my beautiful, sweet, confident, smart boyfriend almost every day.

I am scared that I might not actually have low libido, but that I may actually no longer be attracted to my husband (who I love very much).

I’m afraid my boyfriend is too sweet to order me around the way I’d like him to.

I cannot sleep in the same room as my boyfriend. His snoring is terrible and I get no sleep when we try and sleep in the same bed.

That being said, I love sleeping alone and I’m not sure I ever really want to share a bed!

When my fantastic young kids – 2 and 7 – get candy or goodies from their grandparents as gifts/treats, I often eat some of it, and sometimes, I eat lots of it. Plot twist…I’m the dad, not the mom!

My husband wears women’s clothing complete with heals when I am not around.

i am really grossed out by my husband’s excessive body (mostly BACK) hair. i’m embarrassed by it when we spend time with friends at the beach.

I only pretend to listen when my husband tells me about his day at work. I don’t even understand what he does at the office every day.

I love my husband very much and he is a perfect husband and father but there is a BUT … he can’t get rid of clutter … he believes that if something is behind closed doors in ‘his space’ I do not have to worry about it … but this blocks my spitit … we are moving soon so maybe this problem will get better. I have done the FENG SHI declutter thing and read all that there is to read. My conclusion … not everyone is perfect is all ways so that part of him I have to understand as long as he keeps it confined to his areas and it is working … I am less freaked out now because he know that it has to be contained downstairs

I hate the fact that “sex” is a dirty word in our relationship. We are not married. We’ve been together over 2 years and he still can’t sit down and have a face-to-fact talk with me about sex. I’ve asked. I’ve tried. I’ve pleaded. I’ve cried. And I still can’t get him to listen to me, understand what I’m needing, and I know it will probably never change. He is quite content living in his own little world of offering only when “he” wants it and if I say “no thanks,I’ll hold out for the REAL deal ” (meaning, more time, more pleasurable experience for me, etc….) God help me. He’ll purposely hold out even longer on me next time. It’s like we are not allowed to discuss this issue of our lives. I could never tell him how good things were between my ex and I, or the boyfriends I had before him. While it’s true that I love him as a best friend, I want so much more…… as does he he says. But we always struggle in this dept and I never feel really satisfied.

I love my husband very much. We have a strong marriage. Except for one thing. We never have sex. Like, ever. Once a year maybe. We’ve been married five. It wasn’t like this when we first met. It was hot. I miss that. I wonder if it will be like this forever? I hope not. But it’s been like this so long now that I don’t know how to fix it…

Let it out and give yourself a little freedom from the weight of your secret.

We promise to keep your name and contact information completely private. Your note will be posted without a stitch of your contact information (we are not even collecting it) & no one will be able to comment, critique or respond to your secret.

We’re using the honor code here — we only want true stories — anything you want to get off your chest that you’d rather not share with your partner.

Get your secrets off your chest with the form below or send any questions to [email protected].

Your Secret

By checking this box, I acknowledge I am submitting a note that will be posted anonymously on Ready, Set...Wife!


Your comments