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I take it personally…

I felt the same way when Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins split.  I just want to see if there is anything I can do to help or convince them otherwise.

Dear Susan and Tipper,

First of all, I’m really sorry about your partnership/marriage busting up.  Now, I know you don’t know me but I just want to make sure you have done everything possible to save your relationships.  I’m sure you have.  Of course you have.  But just in case you haven’t, I just wanted to make sure you know that I am here, if you need me.  While it may seem highly inappropriate for me to be commenting on your personal life, I just want you to know that I do so with your best interests in mind.  You see, as a child, I was traumatized by the split of Simon and Garfunkel.  There’s something about Baby Boomers going their separate ways that just scares the bejesus out of me.

Your relationship happiness means more to me than you realize.  If you can’t make it, how can I?  How can any of us?  It’s not that I’m blaming you for being so likable but well…you are.  If you were mean and and full of sour grapes then I wouldn’t care.  But you’re lovely people.  Although, Tipper, seriously… you didn’t really want to censor Prince, did you?!

I guess I take it personally because you remind me how fragile a relationship can be.  No matter how long or how strong it is, one day, it can all go up in smoke.  But maybe you’re happier this way.  Maybe I’m the one being a wussy.  What if it’s okay to have a nice long partnership and then one day say, “Thanks for the memories,” and walk across the lawn and begin anew?  I guess as we all get older we get more and more scared of our inevitable death.  Perhaps you wanted to get a couple more faces in the mix before the plug was pulled.  I get it…I suppose.

Or not.  Who knows why you are pulling up stakes.  This is going to sound super selfish, but I feel a little betrayed by your break-up.  Is that terrible of me?  Not in a, “I’m gonna get you for what you’ve done!” sort of way.  More in a, “Aw man…how could you split!  You belong together,” sort of way.  But maybe you don’t.  You see, it’s hard for me because I only know you as  public figures.  When you deviate from your brand, I get jolted back to the harsh reality that you are humans.  Like the Human League reminds us all, “Of flesh and blood I’m made…born to make mistakes.”  Change is hard for all of us.  Especially me.  Yet, you are changing.  Did you ever consider that I’m not ready for you to change?  I guess you didn’t since you don’t know who I am.  And even if you did, it wouldn’t matter.

I’ll leave it.  You need to do what you need to do.  We all do.  Your love life is your business.  The fact that you even have to send a press release about your relationship status must irritate the hell out of you.  And your kids.  Well, I for one want to say thanks for the memories.  The mystery of love will not be solved in our lifetimes.  But you gave it your all and that is what counts.  Getting married and separated takes a great deal of courage.  Both are noble actions in their own right.  Because at the end of the day, we just want to be happy.  If, however, either of you would like to get some coffee and talk about it, give me a holler.  I’m here for you, always and forever.



P.S. The Clinton’s have held on…I’m just saying…

4 Responsesto “I take it personally…”

  1. Their marriage may have been fantastic at one time and isn’t now. My mom used to say she and my dad had “ten wonderful years.” You could tell by the way she said it that they were the best years of her life. But then it was time to move on, and I respected her so much for that. Our lives were better because she did.

  2. The Other Uncle Bill says:

    I just hope if there is a (much) younger lover that it is Tipper who’s playing. And I hope she makes Tipper laugh…

  3. Super Jessica says:

    I too have been a little heart broken over both these breakups. I blame global warming… that hussy.

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