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Being married to me must be exhausting

Last night, I was still up at 2:30 in the morning helping Jim on a art project he’s completing. My bedtime is usually somewhere between 10:30-11pm, so I was really pushing the envelope. And while every cell in my body was begging for bed, I wanted to give him my time and energy in the same way he has whenever I’ve needed his input.

Most of my work is project/deadline based. I’m can almost always be found developing projects or hustling to complete them. There’s very little (if any!) rest once my work is produced/published/whatever. Jim has never hesitated to step aboard the roller coaster with me if I need him. Part of my process is utilizing him — or my mom — as a sounding board, bouncing ideas off them, reading them drafts, sometimes freaking out in despair and self-pity. I’m so grateful to have their critical eyes on my work and to receive their gentle, but direct feedback.

I’ve wondered how Jim feels when he sacrifices a relaxing evening at home, or even his own work, to keep me from spinning with self-doubt or to give me company as I climb out of a rut. Now I know.

I think it’s really important to step into our partner’s shoes every now and then. We should always shake things up a little so we don’t take each other for granted. Selflessness is never something I should expect from Jim. It’s a gift. And it’s something I strive to give more freely.

Getting a taste what my husband goes through during my creative process was a humbling experience last night. In the future, I might think twice before I ask Jim to join my drama…or at the very least I’ll truly understand the costs of my requests.

How about? Have you ever had the tables turned in your relationship in a helpful, humbling way?

Your comments

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ready, Set…Wife!, Robyn Okrant. Robyn Okrant said: Being married to me must be exhausting. [...]

  2. ReadySetWife Fan says:

    My husband is always ready to listen to my dramas–spats with sis, worries about things I said or did, and so on. He rarely has worries himself. So if he starts a sentence with “Do you think I should have…” I think, “Geez, this is how I sound every day and he does it once a year. I’m going to be very supportive.” It’s always something silly. It’s obvious to me that he did the right thing, just as it’s obvious to him when I’m fretting over nothing. I would like to think such experiences calm me down and prevent me from re-thinking situations so often, but instead, I’m just glad he’s doing it too!

    • Robyn Okrant says:

      HAHA! I kind of agree…sometimes I am a tiny bit glad when Jim spins like I do. It’s a relief I’m not the only one who can be nuts in my marriage. Aren’t we awful?! :)

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