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Rut Alert! Rut Alert!

It just dawned on me that I always dress up for doctors appointments, but I’ll throw on any old thing to hang out with my husband.

I’ve been making a concerted effort to get dolled up more often. I love the glint in Jim’s eyes when I wear something that hugs my curves or shows off my legs. It’s a nice break for him and it boosts my confidence to see that I still turn him on physically, even after several years of marriage.

The trouble it — It isn’t REMOTELY natural for me to dress up or to put on makeup. I’m usually found in a faded superhero t-shirt, my hair in a misshapen, squashed afro (bedhead!), wearing mismatched slouchy socks on my perpetually cold feet. The best part of working from home is that there is no dress code (woo! no shoes! no bra!)…the worst part is that I usually don’t even put on pants. In fact, in the spirit of full disclosure, I admit I’m not wearing any pants right now. And boy, do I have to shave my legs. I better do it before my doctor’s appointment this afternoon.

If I’ve learned anything about keeping a long term relationship exciting, it’s that breaking well-worn habits can be sexy and fun. The trouble is, I usually don’t notice I’ve fallen into humdrum routine until it’s too late.

Do share — if you have secrets for breaking out of monotonous patterns, or if you’re trying to dig yourself out of one now, we’d love to hear about it.

Your comments

  1. ellenpie says:

    SO funny you should post about this! I think this “rut” thing holds true whether or not you’re married – culturally, we’re so dressed down that it pervades everything – not just our relationhips with others, but even the one with ourselves.

    Right around my 40th birthday I had a conversation with a friend whose husband remarked (while folding laundry) that after several years of marriage and 2 kids, he was “saddened by the evolution of her underwear drawer” – she’d gone from sexy lacy things when they were dating (and before the kids) to something more akin to the “Granny Panties” Bridget Jones made famous… Which got me thinking about my own lingerie drawer… that I decided needed spicing up – not necessarily for the man, but for ME.

    I had several friends who were more than willing to assist in this endeavor, and opening gifts at my 40th birthday party was very funny (and at a restaurant). The wait staff several items two thumbs up – hysterical!

    So the underwear drawer is a fun place to start to shake off your rut – because you can surprise the man in your life – and because you definitely feel sexier just knowing what you have on…

    • robyn okrant says:

      I love my new sexy bras, so I think you’re right on. But I’m probably not gonna give up my cotton, boy short undies. Some of them even have funny sayings on them. What can I say? I LOVE HUMOR…even on my undergarments.

  2. Yes! Working from home finds me wearing my rags and rarely getting dolled up. It’s so much comfier.

    Long ago I read a very light book about four types of men. The visual kind really notice what you wear. Fortunately, I’m married to the tactile sort. If it’s a soft material, it could be a giant bag and he wouldn’t mind. Having said that, here’s some advice from the classic “How to be a Good Wife:”
    “Do not forget that among the things most dangerous to love are untidy hair, faded negilgee, curlers and bedroom slippers at the breakfast table.”

    • robyn okrant says:

      That’s a great point about visual vs. aural vs. tactile vs…i don’t know….men who loved The Scent of a Woman? Hoo-yah! I think that’s a hilarious quote. Jim has to deal with my untidy hair at the breakfast AND dinner table, too!

  3. Maria says:

    Yes, I am 37 yrs old, and 373 lbs oh and I am 5’3… of today I begin to tell you of my “rut” of being over-weight….For as long as I can remember I have always been a “big girl”. I today Ms. R I am beginning a journey of a new way of life. A life that “society says overweight is not acceptable”. I to begin a new journey! My Melt Away Journey”. I began a new lifestyle not a diet…..I also have begun a blog today as well….I hope that my journey as I write the next two-hundred twenty-seven pounds away well enable be to be encouraged, and conquer many fears of how this may look in my future and how it has looked in my past….I am afraid I must say….but it’s 2:30 in Texas so far so good. It’s been a good day!

  4. Von says:

    Maria, You Go Girl! I struggle with just 30lbs and it’s all in front so I look like I am always pregnant. And those lovely undies just roll right off me. So Maria , I’ll be checking your blog rooting you on and maybe helping myself too. My husband loves to see me dressed up but he really doesn’t mind me in comfortable clothes either. He doesn’t even care about sexy nighties after a quick glance of surprise. He’d rather see me naked. I can’t figure that one out. I know my eye site is worse then his but maybe he sees through the corrective lenses of memory. When I was in my twenties and newly married I guess I looked pretty good. Or maybe he remembers me when I was 16 and at the beach in my two piece. No bikinis allowed in my family especially at my grandmother’s cottage. I don’t really care but I’m just glad he still cares at all what I wear or especially what I don’t.