March 31, 2010...10:12 am

Watch out or I’ll sting you!

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Peter and I don’t have cable TV.  So, if you invite us over and all we want to do is watch television you now know why.  Because of this little detail in our life we watch a lot of PBS.   Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Last night, as we ate dinner in front of the TV (another little detail) we were watching Globe Trekker.  The host was visiting Jellyfish Lake in Micronesia.  Apparently, thousands of years ago a bunch of jellyfish got trapped in the lake and couldn’t get out.  So they set up shop and created a gigantic community.  Because they had no predators in the lake they lost their ability to sting.  I turned to Peter and said, “So without predators, we lose our edge?”

According to nature, the answer is yes.

Jellyfish are gifted with a mean sting.  I am too!  My instinct is to protect and defend myself and my family.  If my guard is down, the tide can shift quickly stranding me and my husband in a lake with no predators.  Is it possible to be too safe?  So safe that you’ve made yourself and your marriage vulnerable?  Without my sting I lose out on my ability to safeguard what matters most to me:  My tiny family unit that I have created with Peter.

I need my edge!

If Peter and I are not getting through to one another, I can shoot a uzi filled with, I statements. If we have prioritized watching dogs surfing on youtube over intimacy, I can set off a bomb of sexy energy.  And like Robyn urges, if I need it I can bring out the big guns like counseling.

I really believe that in order to make my marriage sustain, I have be a love vigilante.  I’m very talented at falling into boring routines.   Wake, work, eat, TV, sleep… If I’m not careful, I will waste away in an endless cycle of Antiques Roadshow and Trader Joe’s cous-cous meals.  If I don’t take my pledge of marriage seriously, then I risk losing it.   I don’t want to be a stingless jellyfish.  I don’t want to be trapped in a lake breeding like crazy and watching life float by.   All it takes is one nasty hurricane to throw me back into the open ocean.  Yikes!

-Cathleen Carr

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