February 19, 2010...6:23 pm

Being single over 50 means WHAT?!


  • but I can tell you that if I am still single at 50 I prefer to think of myself as a (toned down) version of Samantha on SATC – remember in the movie where she breaks up with the incredibly hot Smith because she feels she’s been neglecting her primary relationship “the one with me, myself and I”? So: if still single, dating young hotties, doing lots of yoga (maybe teaching yoga), finally done with my degree, writing my own blog, in my condo or house, and GASP maybe ONE cat. I haven’t had cats in a long time, and my dad got two kittens for Christmas. Now I miss them!

    Or maybe I’ll adopt a child. My mom had a never married friend recently adopt an 11 year old girl from… can’t remember Latin American country, but my mom said it has changed her life, and changed her as a person. When my mom asked why she decided to do this (and I think she’s like mid-40s, but closer to 50 than me), she said “she wanted to give a child all of the gifts her parents had given her.” Wow.

    So, lots to do at 50, single or married! and for the record, my godmother’s daugther and I did explain to our mothers (best friends since high school) that “you’re not married, are you gay?” is a question that some have asked WELL before 50, starting probably late 30s. my friends who actually are gay find this hysterical. to me, it just reflects that people would still rather think there’s some REASON you’re single than admit anyone could be happy single. how weird and sad!

    • yes! this suspicion that unmarried women are lesbians sometimes starts way before 50. when i was about 26, a single female friend and i moved in together, and our landlord regularly referred to me as her “girlfriend” (*wink* *nod* ). maybe he just found the idea exciting – i don’t know – but the truth is we were both kind of broke and needed to share an apartment, and neither of us had a boyfriend at the time . . . . nothing gay about it.

      i’m still single (almost 31) and still living with a female roommate. i’d love to find a man to spend the rest of my life with – but i’m not going to settle for just anyone, so i’ll be single and reasonably content in the mean time.

      i like your blog and look forward to following it this year.

      • hey beth! oy – your landlord sounded a little creepy. i’ve had a couple of those.

        and hooray to no settling! that seems to be the hip thing to do these days – stop looking for mr. right and settle for mr. right now. ugh. it’s hard enough work to keep a marriage solid – why do it with someone you’re ambivalent about?!


  • LOL, Kate! People do say that about Oprah! I am certain Oprah isn’t gay, but it isn’t my thing to be closer to a friend than my spouse/partner in life.

    I think single women (men too) over 40 or 50 have spent lots of time and energy focusing on what is important to them and I don’t waste energy imagining they are secretly gay or should get married…

  • 15 years til I’m gay. Can’t wait.

    Glad you posted this, I probably never would have known.

  • Hilarious…

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