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Single women are not my problem

Single women are not my problem

Recently, a woman I know told me about her most recent manicure experience.  While she was getting her nails done, the esthetician asked her is she had children. The woman replied, “no.” “Are you married?” “No.” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “No.” “Why no boyfriend?” “I’m new to the...

Home! Sh*t…Home

Home! Sh*t…Home

This happens every time we visit my parents in Vermont: Me: (Looking at mountains) Maybe we should learn how to farm. Or at least live in a farm house and grow a garden. Peter: Um. Ok. But what would we do for money? Me: I could open a comedy club, call it the Improv Ha Ha Hut or something and you could work for the environment. Peter: The environment doesn’t pay people to work...

Sisterhood of the Traveling Genes

Sisterhood of the Traveling Genes

It happened about a year ago. While I was writing affirming thoughts in my journal – Visualize abundance and remember that you are unique and special – I looked at my hands. Those are NOT my hands…they’re my MOTHER’S! My eyes scanned the page. That’s my mother’s handwriting! I opened my mouth and cried, “Hells Bells!” That’s...

Retirement is a plague upon man!

Retirement is a plague upon man!

A man needs a hobby. The father of a friend has systematically been driving his wife crazy, post-retirement, with his evangelical commitment to doing absolutely nothing.  Armed with an Ensure in one hand and the remote control in the other, he has turned the living room into his sacred temple of relaxation.  Apparently, this behavior is very common for retired men.  My father loves...

Did you marry Daddy?

Did you marry Daddy?

My mom is visiting me here in Chicago. We’re having a fabulous time. She dragged me to Aqua Zumba this morning and I dragged her to my polling place afterward. We smell like chlorine AND we’ve rocked the vote. Fitness and politics. We know how to party. My mom has been telling me stories about my dad that remind me very much of Jim. For instance, when we send them to the grocery...

Cell Hell

Cell Hell

I own an Andriod phone – scratch that – it owns me.   I use it all the time and hate every second of it.  My seething rage is not specific to the Andriod, it’s all smart phones I abhor.  I hate how the social landscape has been completely upended by texting, emailing and google maps. It’s as though we have regressed back to childhood, unable to face the...

Pre-marriage time machine

Pre-marriage time machine

I was traveling solo last weekend, visiting my alma mater in New England. I was honored to speak on a panel of four authors (all past graduates) at an all-class reunion at Bennington College in Vermont. After the talk, I navigated the memories, pathos, and fun that came with returning to the campus I hadn’t stepped foot on for 16 years. Walking through the theatres, dorms, social...

Mother-in-Law: fiend or foe? I mean frie...

Mother-in-Law: fiend or foe? I mean friend. Friend or foe?

One of the most complicated relationships that comes along with a new marriage is that of the wife and her mother-in-law. Sure, there are some over-the-top examples of how tough this can be on TV and on screen: Everybody Loves Raymond and Monster-in-Law are the first to jump into my brain. And while most of us are lucky enough to escape such a stereotypical relationship with our own...

It's a family affair

It's a family affair

When I first got married, friends would ask if I felt any different.  It was a good question.  Peter and I had been living together for a year before our wedding day and were well aware of each other’s quirks, ticks and habits.  For example: Cathleen brushes her teeth with warm water. Peter eats cereal without milk. After our honeymoon, we returned to our same apartment, our...

Violence, art and trust

Violence, art and trust

My friend emailed me a link to a New York Times article from 2008 that rattled me to the bone.   In early March of that year, two Italian performance artists set out on a journey titled Brides on Tour.  The collaborators, Pippa Bacca and Silvia Moro, adorned in beautiful white bridal gowns, planned to hitchhike through Italy, the Balkans and the Middle East promoting a message of...

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