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Re-writing our future

Re-writing our future

Sorry about my little disappearing act. I’ve been offline for a while for many reasons and here’s the main dealio: Jim and I decided, due to financial constraints, that we needed to sell our home. It was an emotional, but logical, decision and we had to act fast and work hard. While it took a while to prep for our sale, we were incredibly lucky about the speed with which we...

Diary of a Furious Wife

Diary of a Furious Wife

This afternoon, I spoke to my friend Jennie* who called me sobbing because her husband read (not one, not two, but ALL) the journals she’s kept since their relationship began. He confronted/blindsided her angrily about some things she had written. He was very hurt by her critique of him and his family, and jealous about an unrequited crush she had on a co-worker. I was horrified by...

All work and no play

All work and no play

Jim and I love going out of town together. Who doesn’t relish a holiday from everyday life? Our love of vacationing runs the gamut between a fabulous trip to Paris…to spending a week in a tent in the Wisconsin woods…to renting a car and taking a day trip to a campy Old West Town. We aren’t that picky. Spending time together away from home relaxes and recharges us. It...

Mazel Tov, Big Apple!

Mazel Tov, Big Apple!

Hooray to another state that has stepped out of the Dark Ages into an era of equal rights for ALL citizens. Thank you to New York, and Governor Andrew Cuomo, for signing the same sex marriage bill into law. Now everyone can fret with us about whether or not marriage is a venerable institution, or an antiquated relic. We welcome the MILLIONS of new blog readers who can now celebrate,...

Memory keeping

Memory keeping

Jim sent me this picture last night. He had snapped it a couple weeks ago while we were hanging out in the park. I had completely forgotten that I’d even gotten on the swings, forgotten that I felt so giddy as I pumped my legs like a kid, flying high in the air. Seeing this image reminded me of that brief window of freedom and weightlessness. I’ve been feeling stressed out lately by...

The secret to a good marriage…

The secret to a good marriage…

…is not keeping secrets. And I don’t mean from each other. I tell Jim almost everything, but there are limits. I doubt it’ll make my marriage stronger if I tell him about the dude at the grocery store who always flirts with me. I don’t regale him with sexual experiences I had with other men before I met him, or which ex-boyfriend keeps trying to friend me on Facebook. (Come...

Is procreation the only reason to marry?

Is procreation the only reason to marry?

While tradition might dictate otherwise, parenthood and marriage don’t always go together like peanut butter and jelly. I’ve never had a deep desire to have kiddos, so it wasn’t a deciding factor in accepting Jim’s proposal. My decision to marry still confounds some of my outspoken friends who don’t understand why I bothered making our relationship legal if...

What’s mine is yours

What’s mine is yours

From a financial perspective, Jim and I have a completely retro, unevolved marriage. We share everything — all money goes into one big pot. Ok, not a big pot. More like a tiny little piggy bank that has droopy eyes which follow you around the room. We don’t define whose money belongs to whom, we don’t each pay our own share of the mortgage or the utility bills. At...

My “I Told You So” Evolution

My “I Told You So” Evolution

When Jim and I first married I had a pretty tough time keeping myself from pointing out when I was right and Jim was wrong. I wasn’t a gloater, and didn’t hold things over his head, but I felt it was important that I be recognized for being correct. I hungered for that validation. This was a lack of maturity on my part. I hadn’t been in many long term relationships and didn’t...

Slogging through

Slogging through

I’m treading molasses these days. Busy as a bee, a to-do list a mile long, but my limbs feel as if they weigh a thousand pounds and I am finding it difficult to stay motivated. I think it’s the oppressive gray Chicago weather. What’s weird is although I feel like I’ve accomplished a big old ZERO in the past month, the truth is, it’s been a fruitful and prolific several weeks...

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