content top

Holy F*** Our First Hurricane!

Holy F*** Our First Hurricane!

Having never been through a hurricane, it’s hard to know what to do. Other than panic, of course. According to the emergency map issued by NYC, we live in ZONE B. I’m not sure what that means – will the storm surge flood our first floor apartment? No way, that would be crazy! I’m mean, it’s not like we live in ZONE A. Those suckers are screwed. Our...

How My Marriage Deals With Global Econom...

How My Marriage Deals With Global Economic Disaster

Keep it simple

Keep it simple

Today I went to my favorite hole in the wall massage joint and settled in for a serious rub down.  As I’ve documented before, one of my favorite hobbies is paying a stranger to touch me.  (Good touch, not bad touch) Despite the painful pleasure of deep-tissue-near-evisceration, my mind refuses to settle. It skims my memory minefields like a vulture looking for meat. Laid out on...

Best Gift Ever

Best Gift Ever

Working from hell (home)

Working from hell (home)

Working from home is pretty goddam sweet. Especially when dressed in bedtime casual, lounged out, taking a conference call. But when the first heat wave strikes, working in an at-home sweatshop becomes a very specific sort of hell. The kind where you roam from coffee shop to cafe, weighted down by laptop, hunting free wifi, cool air and minimally-priced coffee; a refugee without a...

On the Count of Three, Smile and Say ...

On the Count of Three, Smile and Say “Creepy!”

Look at this feral cat. Adorable, right? I spent ten minutes standing in an empty rail yard the other night taking pictures of this flea infested, rabies machine. Poor Peter stood awkwardly by as I whispered sweet nothings to the feline while shifting about trying to get the “perfect shot.” (I was temped to write “Purrfect,” but I thought better…) There...

Remembering Ol’ Jim

Remembering Ol’ Jim

When Peter and I were married five years ago, his father presented us with a beautifully framed, hand-illustrated poem titled Beloved Gift. His dad had composed the piece in the months leading up to our wedding day. The world changed twice today, Two hearts entwined in love did pray and gathered in their blissful sphere A place of haven, safe and dear. Life can grant you many gifts...

Wedding Photo Inspiration

Wedding Photo Inspiration

Congratulations! You’re getting married this summer! Yay!!! Wait, it’s your sister who’s getting married? That’s wonderful!! Oh…it’s your co-worker Duane who’s tying the knot. Fun! Wedding season has officially begun.  The invitations are arriving like credit card offers pre-housing crash. No matter who you are, there’s a good chance...

Surfer’s Wife 2.0 “Growth Mi...

Surfer’s Wife 2.0 “Growth Mindset” Or How I Will Eat a Shark for Breakfast

Winter is over, the sun is blazing and the ocean temperature is a balmy 64 degrees. Time to cram my body into the nearest wetsuit and sacrifice my summer weekends to the filthy seas that surround New York City. Surf season has begun! My husband and I will be like two mated-whales, playfully gliding along the waves, hands interlocked, faces glistening under the sun. Our hair salty and...

Married Woman Seeks Fetish, Lacks Focus

Married Woman Seeks Fetish, Lacks Focus

This evening, I asked Peter, “Should we have a fetish?” He replied, “Well, we have a lot of stuffed animals.  Would we be considered Plushies?” “But we don’t have sexytimes with our stuffed animals, ” I said. “I think we’re supposed to dress up like our stuffed animals and then have sexytimes,” he replied. A long, quiet pause...

« Older Entries