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Bridge over troubled waters…

When my husband and I escape from the city, we must cross over the RFK Bridge (formerly known as the Triborough).  This unpleasant journey frays our nerves and weakens our faith in humanity.  Contractors whiz by, easily twenty miles over the speed limit, aggressively fighting to get from point A to point B.  Cabs register their disapproval of safe driving skills with blaring horns...

It's a family affair

When I first got married, friends would ask if I felt any different.  It was a good question.  Peter and I had been living together for a year before our wedding day and were well aware of each other’s quirks, ticks and habits.  For example: Cathleen brushes her teeth with warm water. Peter eats cereal without milk. After our honeymoon, we returned to our same apartment, our...

Take the money and run to your nearest t...

I had a good, old fashioned break-down last night.  It was about money.  It’s always about money. I don’t make enough of it.  I never have.  What sparked my emotional toilet flush was the realization – I’m always broke. Like a ton bricks hitting my head, I finally put two and two together.  If someone is chronically anything for a decade — overweight,...

Getting my groove back

It’s not like I like being a homebody… So, when I was a young woman, I LOVED to go out.  Rock shows, clubs, parties, bars- I kept a busy social calendar.  The cool taste of excitement mixed with cigarettes, wine and appetizers fueled me on my nightly pursuits.  I would make friends and talk shop, shit and gossip. Throw in a couple of make-out sessions and I was good to...

Thoughtful marriage

Inevitably, when you write about marriage on a continuous basis, you are going to begin to solidify your matrimony worldview.  When I got married four years ago, I wasn’t completely sure why I was doing it.  I spent time before the wedding reading up on the history of the institution and how it has progressed into the modern era.  When Peter and I exchanged our vows,  I still...

My husband’s toothbrush is blue…

Remember the movie, Green Card?  For some reason, I was obsessed with that flick when I was a kid.  Perhaps it was the brooding complexity of 1980′s film sensation, Andie MacDowell coupled with Gerard de Pardue’s gigantic face.  Or maybe it was just her character’s kick ass New York apartment.  Whatever the reason, I couldn’t get enough of their...

A thoughtful definition of marriage

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My husband is my best friend?

Marrying primarily for love is a recent phenomenon.  Scholar Stephanie Coontz explains: For most of history it was inconceivable that people would choose their mates on the basis of something as fragile and irrational as love and then focus all their sexual, intimate, and altruistic desires on the resulting marriage. In fact, many historians, sociologists, and...

Marriage, Lost and Life

What is the point of getting married? Lost This past weekend, my cousin got married.  Weddings on my mother’s side of the family adhere to a strict mythology that has been decades in the making.  I know without a shadow of doubt that during the ceremony I will see my aunt Cindy sobbing uncontrollably.  My father, armed with his glitzy camera, will have positioned himself at the...

O ye, of little faith…

Marriage, as we all know, is traditionally tied in with religion.  It just is.  No way around it.  For years, a stubborn few of us have been trying to extract the institution from the Book. I have been to countless outdoor weddings, mine included where there was the suggestion of faith but not an overt declaration of religious commitment.  What are we doing?  What am I doing? ...

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