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My womb ain’t nobody’s business but my own

I was in the waiting room of my doctor’s office last week when I was addressed by a very pregnant woman, accompanied by a super-energetic toddler. The mom was drenched with sweat (it was 6 zillion degrees and really humid outside) and having a hard time controlling her on-the-edge-of-a-tantrum kiddo. She looked at me apologetically and then asked if I had kids. I think she needed someone with whom to commiserate, but I couldn’t be of service. I told her, “No kids, just cats” and was glad she couldn’t read my mind as I launched into my usual cacophony of panicky thoughts and excuses when I’m asked about my ability, desire, or plans to bear babies. I get very self-protective.

The woman’s eyes darted to my wedding ring and she patted her bulging belly as she said to me, “Don’t worry, it’ll happen for you, too.” She then launched into her story without my urging — she had frustrating fertility troubles for years, tried everything to get pregnant, finally used an egg donor, had her first child at 40,  her husband didn’t want kids as much as she did, but now he’s the best dad ever, the story went on and on. When it was over, she put her hand on her heart, wrinkled her forehead and said with so much emotion, “Keep the faith. You’ll be a mommy one day.” She wanted her story to inspire me because she assumed I was in the dark place she had been before she had a viable pregnancy. She was very sweet and clearly thought she was being empathetic even as she projected her own desires onto me.

Ever since I got married in 2003, I’ve been asked the question: “So when are you and Jim going to have kids?” And every time I’m faced with that question, I wonder why people think it’s ok to ask about how I plan to employ my lady parts. To me, this is a deeply personal question and I’m surprised how casually it’s asked, even by veritable strangers.

As a society, we’ve become much more liberal and inclusive about what constitutes a family. However there is still a traditionalist expectation that there is a “right” order to do things: we get educated, we date, we get married, we propagate the species by popping out our adorable kids, we sacrifice and nurture and love, we become empty-nesters, we get to enjoy “me” time, our kids have kids, we spoil our grandkids, our progeny care for us as we lose our faculties, and then we die. But what if that’s not the order I choose to live my life? What if I skip a step or two, either by choice or not?

My husband is 40, I’m in my late 30’s, we have been married for 7 years, and we do not have children. That’s our choice.

And that’s our business.

- Robyn Okrant



55 Responsesto “My womb ain’t nobody’s business but my own”

  1. ellenpie says:

    Robyn, I so feel you – about the kids but also the husband. It willlll allll happen for me, some day. I heard that for decades as my friends got married and then had kids, and they did this over at least at 15 year span (and are still doing it, or RE-doing it). UGH. My 27 y/o half-sister is getting married in a few weeks, and I told my dad “I’m gonna deck the first person who says ‘Sooo… Really…When is it YOUR turn???’” – and I fully expect that to be his great aunt (80+) or his cousin… About babies, had a colleague blurt out, in a conversation about dating “You just need to have a kid already. Forget the husband!” I could barely formulate a response, because while this might be well within the realm of acceptable these days, single motherhood is not something I’m considering. I relayed this to my step-brother (always has my back) who was more irate: “It’s not her business! What right did she have to say that to you???”

    None really. But she cannot see past her own reality, which goes something like “OMG I’m 46 and haven’t had a husband or kids and reallllly want a kid, even if I don’t have a husband…” She simply cannot contemplate a reality where a woman might be startlingly OK without having kids, so she projects her reality on to mine. I no longer take it personally, mainly because I’m perfectly happy in my reality, with kids or without. It sounds to me like you and Jim have a lovely reality going. When people try to project their reality on to yours, just smile like you did, but also, don’t let them trip the internal cacophony you mention – that just takes energy away from all of the positive things going on in your life.

    Or, you could say to people like that woman “Well, you know… every time I wonder if now is the time for me to have a kid, I’m lucky enough to witness a total Pre-K meltdown like yours appears to be close to having… And I find that to be very effective birth control – WINK!” That’ll shut them up fast! :-)

    • robyn okrant says:

      Hee hee. EXACTLY. I’m a whole person even without kids. I’m not to be pitied! I am a human being :) (I think).

      Oy — I’m sorry you’ve heard those things. If misery loves company, than we’re in a bigger club than we know. xoro

      • Mica says:

        I hear you all, and I totally agree that it is your business, people shouldn’t assume, etc. But while some people are oblivious and overreaching when they talk to you, I do think that they think they know something that you don’t know, so are trying to be yes, encouraging, but also imparting some type of wisdom that they may think you need.
        And let’s face it, although you undoubtedly are a whole person unto yourself, they do have something that you don’t, and all of the knowledge that comes with having gone through those experiences. I am a parent, and I can safely tell you that you don’t know what you are missing. That’s ok with me if you never find out, your choice for sure! But not wanting kids doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t love the experience if you actually did have kids. (I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but other kids aren’t the same as your own.) And you can’t really know for sure how it would be for you if you did. So maybe, I think, those well-meaning (sometimes at least) people who overstep their bounds do know something you don’t know. Once you have kids, there is a part of you that feels that life is meaningless w/o them. But not wanting to actually say that to you, they just kind of forget that you may not feel that way and assume you agree. Or try to sell you on it. ? Either way, it is none of their business. But they are likely just trying to make small talk from their frame of reference. Not trying to make you feel bad. Just my thoughts…

        • robyn okrant says:

          Hey Mica! I absolutely believe you on that one — I definitely don’t know what I’m missing. There is a very deep relationship/experience that I’ll never know if I continue to remain kidfree. And I also truly believe that folks mean well. I just want people to consider that there are some of us who have chosen different priorities. As I just wrote in my journal: We still want to make the world a better place, we want to impact the future in a positive way…we just don’t choose to do it by multiplying. I fight for a woman’s right to make all (healthy) choices relating to her own body.

  2. mariadfalcon says:

    I get it, your privacy in the baby department; but if she was not considerate of your situation and you did want it! Either way she would have been rude right………..because that’s what your saying…I think……I don’t want to be rude! Everyone has a plan, no matter what path they have been led and or taken too….there is always a plan….undoubtly when your married…there is always a plan :)

    If it’s that so private for YOU and Jim, why are we reading about it……..You said ” she couldn’t read my mind as I launched into my usual cacophony of panicky thoughts and excuses when I’m asked about my ability, desire, or plans to bear babies. I get very self-protective”…..I also want to point out how could she read your mind………….again she was being encouraging……why is that so wrong…………I’ m just asking?

    • robyn okrant says:

      Hey Maria, Good points. So mainly, I think it’s absolutely my business to share information about my body and familial plans. I can shout it from the rooftops, if I want! But, I don’t believe it’s my place to pry into anyone else’s personal choices. It’s not for a stranger to assume that everyone wants children (OR what if I don’t have the ability to have children, or can’t afford to have children, or there is a history of genetic disease in my family, etc?).

      ALSO — I think there is an assumption that I must feel as if something is missing from my life because I don’t have kids. I don’t at this point at least. But I’m confused because I sometimes feel the need to defend or explain my choices in order to answer a question that I consider inappropriate.

      I agree with you — everyone has their own path — but I think the problem arises when we expect everyone else to be on the same journey.

      xorobyn

      • Anonymous says:

        Beautiful. Perfect. I’m 1oo% with you sister!

      • mariadfalcon says:

        Hey Ms. Robyn,
        Again but how THEN can you EXPECT “everyone” to be on the same page….as you are….I know as people we always put our foot or feet in our mouths! As you stated about the assumption on how you may feel…..when do we as people draw lines of OUR own expectations and assumptions…..these too together are awful self presumptions as humans….how can then one be as a stranger…..when then we also complain on how “insensitive our society has become…..when does one win”…..yes she assumed but what if you were down and out about her similar situation/circumstances…..in this “My womb ain’t nobody’s business but my own” SHE DID NOT KNOW “My womb ain’t nobody’s business but my own”
        But she reached out…..your personal issues with “My womb ain’t nobody’s business but my own” I am so with you on this…but how does one not show “Sensitivity” and some form of hey I been there….I am here…I have seen people became great friends after meeting this way….but like in your case it you make it sound derogatory……….when as human/strangers became some cold that when showing sensitivity become some huge issue…..that everything we say or do becomes so annoying…..I don’t believe she was prying at all I believe she was consoling you …..was it right or wrong….she was just being open and candid how do you assume and presume she was out to assume you were not having fertility issues…and mainly how can you be so insensitive to her in what she might have been going thru….…I am just saying…………I know when people share their experiences……………it has been very enlightening just as your blogs have been………..XOXO Maria
        BTW, love your audience!

  3. Amy says:

    Amen sister!

    My husband and I would like to have kids but do have fertility issues that I don’t necessarily want to share with the world. I say “no, we don’t have kids” the follow up shouldn’t be “why not?”. Really? That’s ok for small talk?

    I think I might stick with “I’d prefer not to discuss my lady parts.”. :)

  4. No Kids Either says:

    I’m with you. People are way too nosy.
    I got married at 41 and heard this constantly, despite the low odds of getting pregnant after that age with a husband 21 years older than me. One lady asked: “Are you going to take heroic measures?”

    I also don’t like how everyone wishes me “Happy Mother’s Day” on that Sunday in May. This too assumes too much.

    I wish I was a mom but I’m a super Aunt!

    • robyn okrant says:

      I’m a super aunt too! :) I can’t believe people have wished you a happy mother’s day. OUCH. I’ve not heard that one before.

      • Anonymous says:

        Oh, I get that Happy Mother’s Day thing too at Church. They say “to all the mothers, or mother figures”. I’ve stopped going on that day. I’m neither and that’s the way things worked out for me. I don’t have to explain anything to anyone. Please don’t assume I am a mother figure just because I have a vagina.

  5. Julie says:

    Right on, sister. When I tell other women that I’m not planning on having children, they usually say, “You still have time.” As if I still have time to come to my senses, perhaps?
    Find a man? Make it happen? A rather condescending response, I think.

  6. Scarlett Jung says:

    So…..when are you having kids?

  7. Marianne says:

    I completely agree that 1) it is no one’s business whether or not you want to be a mother, 2) they should not assume that you are having fertility problems, and 3) they should not ask you about it.

    BUT (please forgive me for saying this because I really love everything you do), I think you are being over sensitive. People say and do dumb and insensitive things all of the time. It is OUR feelings and issues that make us take offense or not. So, it seems to me, if you were completely OK with your decision, this would not be a “hot” issue with you.

    For example, I think you are OK with the fact that your spine is screwy, right? So, if someone said “Hey, it looks like your spine is screwy,” I doubt that you would care. It is still dumb and insensitive, but because you are OK with it, it doesn’t offend you.

    I hope I am making sense.

    Marianne

    • robyn okrant says:

      Marianne, I agree and disagree :) Yes, I’m sensitive about the issue…but not because I doubt my choice — rather it’s because I feel like there is an expectation that ‘real’ women are supposed to make babies. That a child is a symbol of a ‘complete’ marriage. I am secure in my decision, but self-conscious when I feel as if I should explain it. And I’m not saying my choice will change in the future, but for now, this is where we are.

      Oh, and you always make sense! xo

      • Marianne says:

        Oh, I don’t want to belabor this point…but, I hate when I am misunderstood. So, as much as I have resisted to urge to clarify…I can do so no longer !

        I did not mean to say that you were doubting your decision to remain childless, I have not doubt that you are NOT doubting that. I just meant that you have a lot of feelings about that decision (but not feelings of doubt!), which is why this gets under your skin.

        I don’t mean to imply that you having these feelings is bad either. I just mean, that is how other people can get to us. And, if we know what our underlying feelings are, they get to us less.

        I have tons of examples of this in my personal life. Happily married people can get to me – but now that I know that is because I am envious of their situation, they don’t get to me nearly so much any more. :)

  8. serahrose says:

    I guess we all have a few things that we wish society wouldn’t pin on us. Maybe you should have just offered her kid a catnip toy.

  9. Leslie says:

    Oy. That’s a tough one. I work with kids, and I’ve actually had parents tell me that I couldn’t possibly understand the needs of their student because I don’t have children myself. Nice, huh?

  10. Jessica says:

    On the one hand, I want to be very philosophical about this woman and say that she wasn’t really talking to you about your situation (or her perception of it), but she was using it as an opportunity to reinforce her own personal decisions, especially in light of the fact that she specifically said her hubby didn’t want kids as much as she did, but now he’s a great dad. It almost sounds like she’s trying to convince herself he’s a great dad. Her whole rant was about her and not you. And I want to give her a pass because she’s uber-hormonal.

    On the other hand, she spewed it to you without any knowledge of the woman you are, what choices you have or haven’t made, what medical conditions you may or may not have, etc. And that’s just rude.

    I get it. I’m 39 and single. Not only do I get the “there’s still time to have a baby,” but I also get the “I’m sure you’ll find Mr. Right. He’s out there.” Great. Thanks. Can you tell him to hurry things along and make himself known?

    I don’t think you overreacted. I think you did a splendid job of restraining yourself from giving her a piece of your mind.

    • robyn okrant says:

      HA! Oy…that “there’s still time” thing kills me. It just perpetuates the idea that we’re always up against the clock. Life in this country is such a race. And even though people (usually) mean well when they say this stuff, what is unintentionally implied is that we’re broken or doing things wrong because we’re not meeting up to some arbitrary timeline. GRRRR!

  11. Jax says:

    Oh, Robyn, this post is so on point, I had to share it with friends. Although I personally don’t get this question (I get the other “are you happy/where’s Mr. Right?” version), I can not explain to you how many times I hear it, or hear of it. Although it’s not acceptable, AT BEST I could somewhat understand if grandparents might ask (wondering if they are going to have great grandchildren, with time ticking and all). However, I must thank this lady from the doctor’s office…because of her assumption, I had a great, hysterical, on-point read today!

    • robyn okrant says:

      That’s the hardest part of not having kids, Jax…I feel really bad for my mom who REALLY painfully wants grandkids. I wish I wanted children just so I could give her grandkiddies…right now, she only has grandkitties. xo PS. Great hearing from you!

  12. Emily says:

    Great topic and great comments. Knowing how much my life changed by having kids, I am always glad to know people are making a conscious decision when they decide not to have kids. (I feel the same way about people who decide to elope instead of having a wedding for their families: people making a decision on their own path). It is good that you & your husband are at the same place about having kids; in my case I was more determined to have kids and my husband was less. But then I realized that we should both recognize the pros & cons of the huge life change.

    I don’t think that having kids is the only way to connect with children or to go through all the growing up stages that being a parent (or step-parent) brings. But on a physical level, being pregnant and giving birth taught me all kinds of lessons I wouldn’t have learnt another way. I used to be a big chicken about pain, but giving birth made me tougher. There is a kind of pain that is worth it, that is worth putting up with. My acupuncturist says she feels that women who have given birth are energetically different from women who have not given birth. I am not trying to negate my comment above in support of your decision to not have kids: I am agreeing with the comment about it being true that until someone becomes a parent, one doesn’t know what one doesn’t know about having kids.

    • robyn okrant says:

      I can believe it — I can’t fathom what it’s like to be pregnant…but to actually give birth?! I could pass out thinking about it. I always joked with Jim that if we accidentally got knocked up, I’d like to start my epidural the moment I get a positive pregnancy test. Nine months of a spinal tap to numb my body, please! Thanks for your thoughts and input, Emily!

  13. Paula says:

    Well, I thought I knew how intrusive strangers could be, but once I actually became pregnant intrusive took on a whole new meaning. I had strangers touch my belly, demand to know whether I had a birth plan yet, tell me I was being abusive to my baby by putting his life in danger by planning a home birth. I was even yelled at by a randy truck driver while out for a walk….”I know what you’ve been doing!” The unsolicited birth horror stories also flew thick and fast during those nine months. “My life and the baby’s was in danger, but my handsome heroic doctor used every medical intervention known to science to pull us through.” AIEE!

    Then once the baby was born, it was “is he sitting up YET, is he eating solids YET, is he weaned YET, is he crawling YET” It made me want to scream. And I ceased to exist as a person to other people who previously knew me well. The assumption was that I was now completely subsumed by my role. My ex-step-mother-in-law (long story) even once said to me “So….I guess you just don’t have a life anymore!” in a jolly tone usually used for toddlers at their birthday parties. I gazed at her uncomprehendingly for a moment and was only able to mutter “what do you mean?” She stammered all over herself trying to “explain”.

    So you see, it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do with your lady parts. Just in general, Americans are a rude and nosy people who don’t know how to play well with others under most circumstances.

    • robyn okrant says:

      Paula, GREAT point. We are such a know-it-all culture! Oy. I can’t believe how many pregnant friends I’ve heard complain that strangers touch them without asking. Hello, boundaries?!

  14. Emma Tucker says:

    I have a child but I too am a sinner. We have one and it is by choice. Our choice that is. The amount of times I get asked if I have more at home, when I am going to have another on and aren’t I frightened that she will be spoilt. We can’t win.

  15. Baltimoron says:

    This is my first visit to the “new” site since LO. Looks like I need to spend a few hours catching up!

    When I was in my early- to mid-twenties, I assumed I would eventually have children even though I didn’t want any at the time. Well, my biological clock never started ticking. And now I’m 39. And my husband is 58 and has young-adult children. I’m fortunate to look younger, but when I inform a nosy stranger that I’m childless by choice, I get the “Well, wait ’til you get a little older – you’ll change your mind.” My favorite response is to tell her, “Some people just shouldn’t breed. And I am one of those people.”

    • robyn okrant says:

      Hey there! Welcome, welcome! Thanks for sharing that — I’m the same way — there isn’t ticking. I mean, time is passing and my ability to get and stay pregnant are sliding downward. Yet, I don’t feel the pull toward motherhood. I almost wish I did. I wouldn’t need to defend my decision as much! Thanks much.

      • ellenpie says:

        Thank you both for your comments re no ticking. I recognized years ago that my biological clock was MIA, and quietly, in my head, wondered if something was really wrong with me. Even when people tell me “Oh, you’re so great with kids, you’d be a great mom…” – nary a pang. And I LOVE other people’s kids – I really feel that’s where I get my “kid” time – spoiling other people’s children. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

  16. MkG says:

    I have a response lined up for when people start asking me this (I’m getting married next month): ‘I prefer dogs and free time’. And it’s not just a smart aleck remark meant to shut people up. I really do like my dogs better than any putative children because I can leave them alone for several hours and they can occupy themselves when I’m busy (plus the worst damage they will probably ever do is gnaw on the couch), and I have observed that babies really cut into one’s mountain biking time. Two women that I ride with are inspirational on this front, as they are both in their 50s, married and childless by choice, and totally kicking ass in life and on the trail!

  17. cathleen carr says:

    This is a very interesting discussion for a variety of reasons.
    Now that we are living in a post-everything society, we have come to prize and protect the personal choices that we make with our lifestyles, bodies, etc. Not too long ago, if you were a married woman without children, it was because you couldn’t have ‘em. We have thousands of years of cultural training flowing through our bloodstreams that lead us to make assumptions about other peoples business.
    “Poor gal, no kids. Let’s all pray for her…”
    The transition to the post-modern, “My body, my business” way of being can be rocky at best – culturally speaking.

    A few years back, a good friend and I were chatting about kids. I said I wanted to have three (running out of time on that, there goal…) My friend, whom I love and may read this, began to forcefully lecture me on how socially irresponsible that would be.
    “There are so many children that need homes, why would you add to over-population AND deny children already born a loving home.” Confused, I muttered, “I don’t know. I guess I never really thought about the social implications of it.” I asked her what she wanted and she quickly replied, “Have one biological kid and adopt the rest.”
    I guess she has a point.

    Women like to be private eye’s. We’re always trying to get to the bottom of everyone’s motivations, fears and decisions. Over the years, I have actively been trying to just take statements at face value. It’s harder than it sounds.
    I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have drawn up narratives on someone’s life from observing them on the street or in a waiting room only to find out I am completely and totally off base with my assumptions.
    “She’s clearly a stripper coming down off of meth…”
    Only to find out:
    “Oh, you’re a math teacher and sing in your church choir?”
    At the end of the day, we are all seeking to connect with others. This lady wanted to share a “moment” with you.
    She gambled on the assumption she created in her mind and went whole hog on your ass. Little did she know she was way off the mark. She lost that round (without realizing it.)

    The 30′s & 40′s are the tricky years because it’s anyone’s guess. Will she have kids or won’t she? Weekly I hear about new pregnancies via facebook. It’s the FINAL COUNTDOWN… Hey, smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em, right? Talk about a hot topic. We’re knee deep in babyville and that’s a-okay. I imagine by 50 everyone has calmed down and settled into their identities comfortably and happily.

  18. ardenm says:

    This topic always makes me think of my favorite No Doubt song “Simple Kind of Life” where Gwen sings about having children, and says, “…the longer I wait, the more selfish I become…” after saying “you seem like you’d be a good dad…” (No doubt aimed at her former lover/band mate.)

    Personally, I have never wanted to have an alien that could grow up to be in prison, or on an episode of Intervention, come out of my body. I am lucky that, when I see a pregnant woman, my first thought is always, “Thank G-D that’s not ME!” Even when I see a cute, well-behaved baby smiling on the T (rare, but it happens once every 2 years or so), I see beyond the tiny hands and innocent smile to the inevitability of having to remove shit-loads of crap from the 1,000s of diapers-to-be (and plastic = landfill nightmare, cloth = personal washing nightmare), embarrassing temper tantrums in the Cheesecake Factory, fights over at what age it’s OK to get their nipples pierced, awkward conversations about birth control, sullen teen aged experiments with arson and glue sniffing, and having to go into debt to pay for their college/rehab/lawyer.

    Not to mention all the cars they could crash, bones they could break, liquor and prescription drugs they could steal. Why would anyone want to roll those dice?

    (To those who do though–good for you! And good luck!!)

    Anyway, I have had many a person ask me if I have children. Depending on the vibe I get from them, and my mood, I have said some things that no doubt sounded rude and/or crude and/or selfish, including:

    “Oh my G-d NO! Why would I want to permanently stretch my vajayjay out?” (Though, according to Doctor 90210, vajayjay rejuvenation is the #1 requested plastic surgery in LA right now, so I guess it doesn’t *have* to be permanent.)

    “I couldn’t possibly give up booze for that long.”

    “Luckily, the good Lord has blessed me with infertility.”

    “Why do I need to have kids for when I have a cat and cable?” (Yes, I know people–normal, productive people–can have all of these things. I am not one of those people.)

    I have several friends who attempted to have children, but couldn’t. One spent tons of money to adopt a baby from a banana country. The other only wanted to have her own spawn, tried to the tune of enough money to go on some really, really nice European vacations and it didn’t work out, so no adoptions. A third adopted 3 children from a Russian orphanage (one of them has that syndrome where, b/c he wasn’t held as a baby, he is a mini-sociopath and bangs his head against walls regularly and screams at the top of his lungs for no good reason, which is why I sort of understood when that woman sent her baby BACK to Russia).

    Plenty would think I am a selfish woman (I reckon). But that’s OK b/c I am not hurting anyone by not having children, and I am fine with my feelings. If I wasn’t so faithful to my sleep and had more space (I live in a one bedroom condo), I would consider adopting a chore-age foster child if it went with my decor. (Let’s hope if I attempt to, the social workers don’t read this!)

    All to say, there are as many responses and options and reactions as there are people (OK, well maybe not *that* many…but close), and I truly hope everyone who has children (adopted, or via their own scheduled c-section) really wants them and raises wonderful kid/s who enrich their lives and never cause them to regret all the sacrifices they’ve made.

  19. Kristina Omohundro says:

    I’m 34 and decided this year that I definitely don’t want children. I always sort of knew this, but as the years move on I have become quite sure. My partner feels the same. Interestingly, this year I was also the labor coach for a friend who had a water birth. She’s a single mom and chose to have children despite her marital status. She wanted them that badly. I respect her decision.

    As her day approached I began to fear that I might change my mind and decide I need to experience this rite of passage. I was afraid I would be so moved by the beauty of bringing life into the world that I would have to partake. I’m a yoga instructor and vegetarian – doesnt that make me the mother earth type? Won’t it be natural for me to want to have this body/mind/soul experience?

    Apparently not. The day came. I was there from water breakage to crying baby. Nothing. I held the baby. She was adorable. Not a stir in my womb, much to my boyfriend’s relief. I left the labor and delivery ward barely impacted by the experience. It was interesting and exhausting. That’s all I got. Its like I’m missing the mommy gene. I love puppies and baby animals. I’m indifferent towards children. What can I say?

    Here’s what I don’t like – when this subject comes up and I explain my lack of desire I often get form parents, “You can’t understand until you have your own. You don’t know what you’re missing.” Moms everywhere – please don’t say this. Its so condescending. What I want to say in response and never do is, “You can’t understand how great it is to sleep in, save money for me and my dreams, go where I want, when I want, unburdened by diaper bags, have a peaceful quiet and tidy home, have tons of QT with my man, etc.” But I don’t because I’m not rude and I respect that those who have children are simply on a different path. Its no better, no worse, just different.

    • cathleen carr says:

      I love puppies and baby animals so much. I often watch them on youtube to pass the time.
      Maternal instincts come in all shapes and sizes!

      • Kristina Omohundro says:

        Thanks Cath! Me too. Animal Planet is always on. I give to my yoga students. Think it comes out there…

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