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A thoughtful definition of marriage

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQJvSzkVfRg&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

My husband is my best friend?

Marrying primarily for love is a recent phenomenon.  Scholar Stephanie Coontz explains: For most of history it was inconceivable that people would choose their mates on the basis of something as fragile and irrational as love and then focus all their sexual, intimate, and altruistic desires on the resulting marriage. In fact, many historians, sociologists, and...

Marriage, Lost and Life

What is the point of getting married? Lost This past weekend, my cousin got married.  Weddings on my mother’s side of the family adhere to a strict mythology that has been decades in the making.  I know without a shadow of doubt that during the ceremony I will see my aunt Cindy sobbing uncontrollably.  My father, armed with his glitzy camera, will have positioned himself at the...

Do you ever hide behind your (male) part...

I didn’t think I ever would. Until now. My contractor is doing a sloppy, slow job on our renovations. Today we got a voicemail telling us he is all done with the work. Clearly the job is not complete. It’s a mess in here. But as mad as I am, I want Jim to talk to the guy. I don’t usually back away from conflict. But why am I passing the buck to my husband? I keep...

Here’s one solution for Arizona…

SATIRE WARNING!  (SFX of horns and alarms) All in the spirit of debate… [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuwDvh5DaP8&hl=en_US&fs=1&] -Cathleen Carr

I’m not a polygamist, but…

There is a third member of my marriage. She’s been part of my household for the past 6 years. Her name is PAIN. I have a couple medical conditions that occasionally knock me on my butt and incapacitate me. As a yoga teacher, I tend to be able to stay on top of these issues. Every meal I eat, every activity I do, is usually completed with my chronic pain in mind. I unconsciously...

Free Elena!

America can’t handle unmarried women.  I, for one, feel that unattached women undermine the fabric of our country and pose a grave national security threat.  We cannot allow this injustice to occur any longer.  Women want to be married.  Women want children.  If they cannot find a husband or are unwilling to put in the necessary work to obtain a proposal, then we must...

Spring cleaning

The wedding dress… Some clever students in Britain have devised wedding gowns that can be reconstituted into five new outfits once the last guest has stumbled home and the centerpieces have been cleared into storage bins.  Their work is on exhibit now.  More info here: http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/Wedding-transformation-for-students-dissolving.6282969.jp All over the...

Are marriage self-help books a big bumme...

Journalist Jessica Grose dropped me a note this week to share an article she wrote for Slate.com. Jessica writes a lot about women, feminism, and culture. When I met Jessica back in 2008 (she was interviewing me for The New York Times about a project I was working on) I was fascinated with her because she didn’t seem to struggle, as I did, with the line between being a secure feminist...

Keep it clean…

It’s hot in my apartment!  I’ve been running up and down the stairs doing laundry for the past hour and a half.  Peter and I live above a laundromat.  I know all of you are jealous… Having a washer and dryer in your home is so last year.  The woman who rules the roost down there is amazing looking.  She has perfectly platinum hair, set with pins and panache and...

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