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Mother-in-Law: fiend or foe? I mean frie...

One of the most complicated relationships that comes along with a new marriage is that of the wife and her mother-in-law. Sure, there are some over-the-top examples of how tough this can be on TV and on screen: Everybody Loves Raymond and Monster-in-Law are the first to jump into my brain. And while most of us are lucky enough to escape such a stereotypical relationship with our own...

It's a family affair

When I first got married, friends would ask if I felt any different.  It was a good question.  Peter and I had been living together for a year before our wedding day and were well aware of each other’s quirks, ticks and habits.  For example: Cathleen brushes her teeth with warm water. Peter eats cereal without milk. After our honeymoon, we returned to our same apartment, our...

Violence, art and trust

My friend emailed me a link to a New York Times article from 2008 that rattled me to the bone.   In early March of that year, two Italian performance artists set out on a journey titled Brides on Tour.  The collaborators, Pippa Bacca and Silvia Moro, adorned in beautiful white bridal gowns, planned to hitchhike through Italy, the Balkans and the Middle East promoting a message of...

Where’s the handbook?

I’ve got detailed directions for how to best enjoy tampons, frozen edamame and cat litter but I got nothing for being married.  What gives? The Washington Post reports that a woman named Diane Sollee would like to remedy that discrepancy. (The Washington Post, Ellen McCarthy June 27, 2010)...

Getting my groove back

It’s not like I like being a homebody… So, when I was a young woman, I LOVED to go out.  Rock shows, clubs, parties, bars- I kept a busy social calendar.  The cool taste of excitement mixed with cigarettes, wine and appetizers fueled me on my nightly pursuits.  I would make friends and talk shop, shit and gossip. Throw in a couple of make-out sessions and I was good to...

Teach me!

Peter and I headed down to the DC area this past weekend to help my sister and her husband get ready for their soon to be born baby boy.  We weeded, scrubbed, vacuumed, polished, and folded.  My sister looks big and beautiful and the house is crisp and clean. I would love to get some words of wisdom from all of you out there who are aunts and uncles.  In your opinion, what makes you...

Marriage, Lost and Life

What is the point of getting married? Lost This past weekend, my cousin got married.  Weddings on my mother’s side of the family adhere to a strict mythology that has been decades in the making.  I know without a shadow of doubt that during the ceremony I will see my aunt Cindy sobbing uncontrollably.  My father, armed with his glitzy camera, will have positioned himself at the...

A little heartbreak

I recently had a brutally honest conversation with a single girlfriend of mine I hadn’t seen in years. We ran into each other on the street in my ‘hood, and the light conversation turned from pleasant small talk to a really deep discussion very quickly. It always hurt my feelings how she allowed our relationship to fade away even though I had tried to stay in touch. I pointed...

Married people suck!

The twenty year old me would be horrified to discover the thirty-something-old me writing a blog about marriage.  First of all, because the word blog was not yet invented and secondly, I thought marriage was tragically un-hip back then.  It’s not like I was morally against marriage.  I just didn’t care about it.  It was a stodgy, old thing for boring, old people.  It...

Do you judge?

I’m really touched by the emails and calls I’ve gotten as a result of the marriage counseling post. Thanks y’all. I love reading your experiences and feelings on utilizing therapy as part of a healthy relationship. More on this topic later in the year… So, your responses have me curious about a couple things — give me a hand and check out the two polls...

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