April 27, 2010...7:33 pm

Is there more sand in my hour glass?

Jim is on a business trip and boy oh boy, do I have a lot of time on my hands. Even though the day-to-day chores that Jim and I usually share have fallen onto my shoulders (how do two such little cats poop so much?!), I definitely have a lot more ‘me’ time. I miss the guy like crazy, but a lot of my free time comes from the fact I’m not picking up after him, taking care of him (yes, I know he’s not a child, but I do feel the need to make sure he’s entertained), or cooking for him. I usually create two meals each night since we both have different food allergies and it’s easier to just make two dishes, or else we’d be eating a shared dinner of sawdust and glitter (since as far as I know, neither of us is allergic to these items). I enjoy cooking a lot, but this takes a decent chunk of time to accomplish. Tonight I made my delicious turkey burger, ate it in silence, and stared at my plate. It was even faster to clean up afterward.

And I now I’m really restless.

I’ve read a lot more since he’s been gone and I’ve taken a couple long, luxurious baths. It’s been lovely. But, it’s also been a little lonely.

I miss being with him at the end of the day. The phone doesn’t do it for me. Jim isn’t the best phone talker in the world. (Sorry to throw you under the bus, babe! I LOVE YOU!) And while I long to hear his voice, it’s just not the same as cuddling up on the couch and spending time together. In fact, the phone forces us to make conversation, while we don’t always talk at night. We just like being in each other’s presence.

I’m going to miss him tonight when Bob and Jillian coach the Biggest Loser contestants. We always shout out, “Last chance workout! Last chance workout!” along with the ubertrainers. We ooh and ahh over the extreme weight loss. Then, when the show is over, we kvetch about how sensational and unhealthy the show seems (even thought we know full well we’ll turn it on next week).

The kitties just don’t enjoy hanging with me on the couch to watch the weigh in. Trying to get them to sit where I want, when I want, is like herding cats.

Like a good little over-achiever, I’ve packed the remainder of my schedule tight while Jim’s gone. Doctor’s appointments, social engagements, writing deadlines, meetings, fitness classes to attend, private yoga sessions to teach, craft projects, a to-do list a mile long. While I get stressed looking at my calendar, I was more freaked to be completely unscheduled.

I think I’ve forgotten how to be alone.

-Robyn Okrant

6 Comments

  • This is sweet and important for me to read. I am the one that travels (probably too much) for work – and when I travel I pack the days with events so I am gone less…but my Jim is the one who is at home.

    Thanks Robyn.

    • hey krista – i usually travel more than jim, too. and my oh my, since he’s been gone on biz, i’ve really learned that it’s a lot easier to be the one who goes away. not that being in a hotel room is a delight or anything…xorobyn

  • My fiance was away this week for 3 days. It sucked. I work from home and he’s my “punch clock” – when he gets home, the work day ends and home life begins. So when he’s away, the day drags on and on. And yes, we skyped both nights and watched tv together (he in his hotel room and me at home) but it wasn’t the same.

    I used to be so good at being alone and I’ve forgotten how to do that. I like having the guy around – not necessarily talking but just *there*.

    So I feel ya!

    • gemfit – this is exactly my case – i work from home usually and there are days that i don’t actually speak to another human being until jim gets in at the end of day. i’m so glad you can relate. and we’ve never tried watching tv while skyping! i love it! we usually text and watch. thanks for the idea. xorobyn

  • I know I’m not the best phone talker. I love you and miss you too.


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